


Don't Leave Me Behind

by 7billionothersandme



Series: I Can Hear Your Heart [1]
Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Angst, Becoming Alive, Fluff, M/M, Warming Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-19
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-09 11:47:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1981839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7billionothersandme/pseuds/7billionothersandme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s while Kieren is administering Simon’s neurotriptyline that the tremors return.  He tenses and grasps the edges of the armchair, trying to stop the syringe rattling in his fingers, trying to stop Simon from noticing. But he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Leave Me Behind

It’s while Kieren is administering Simon’s neurotriptyline that the tremors return.  He tenses and grasps the edges of the armchair, trying to stop the syringe rattling in his fingers, trying to stop Simon from noticing. But he does.

“Kieren? You okay?” He begins to turn, his voice laced with concern, but the tremors have already stopped.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Turn around so I can get this done.” He almost breathes a sigh of relief, Simon can’t know about this. Not yet at least. These tremors might not even mean anything…

Simon tenses as the drugs enter his system and then relaxes back into the ratty armchair.

“Are you still up for Sunday lunch? I know it was a bit of a mess last time, so you don’t have to if you don’t want-“

Simon pats Kieren’s arm, “Shush Kieren. You worry too much.”

Kieren smiles a little, “I think you’ll find that I worry just the right amount, thank you very much!”

A smirk dances briefly over Simon’s face in response, “Of course you do. Now get ready, we wouldn't want to be late.”

 

* * *

 

Kieren is curled up with his head resting on Simon’s shoulder. They’re covered in a blanket they found in a cupboard, the cleanest looking one, even if it is a vaguely sickening floral design. They’re watching an old black and white film, and it’s terrible, but they’re not really paying that much attention.

Simon looks down at the blond haired boy curled next to him and allows a rare smile to dance across his face. He has no idea how this happened, this joy and peace in the midst of so much violence and fear. Kieren still seems like such a pure soul, despite having dealt with his fair share of darkness, and maybe that’s what Simon finds so charming about him. He doesn't even realise that he falls asleep.

The film keeps going, and Kieren is still watching it, having found himself absorbed into the badly written storyline. He feels something on his face, it’s wet. Swiping at it with the arm that isn’t trapped under him, he peers at the black ooze on his fingertips. _Shit._

Carefully extracting himself from the blanket, trying not to disturb Simon, he scurries to the bathroom. There’s a small smudge of black across his upper lip from where he rubbed it and that’s it. He cleans it off, takes a shuddering breath and returns to the sofa.

Simon had woken in his absence.

“I think we should probably head to bed, don’t you?” It sounds forced, but Simon doesn’t seem to notice.

 

* * *

 

Maybe having Kieren’s parents round for afternoon tea at the bungalow wasn’t the best idea. You forget that the living need food (namely biscuits) and milk that hasn’t gone off since they last visited.

“I’ll run to the shop quickly and grab some digestives. I’m so sorry.” Kieren’s already nearly out the door before Simon stops him.

“I should go with you.” He murmurs, holding tightly onto Kieren’s arm.

“What? No, I’m just getting some biscuits. I’ll be 10 minutes.” Kieren tries to pull away but Simon’s grip remains firm.

“I _have_ noticed your tremors and nosebleeds Kieren. And I don’t want you to have a seizure in the middle of the supermarket. So I really think I should go with you.” His voice remains low, careful to not let Kieren’s parents hear.

Uncertainty suddenly takes over Kieren’s face at the realisation that Simon knows, but it passes quickly, “What about Mum and Dad, we can’t just leave them here!”

Simon just cocks his head to the side and calls out, “I'm going to the shop, Kieren can give you the grand tour.” He raises his eyebrows, asking Kieren if that’s fixed the problem.

Kieren just sighs in resignation, takes his coat off, and heads back to the living room.

 

* * *

 

It’s 2am and Kieren wakes up. He walks to the kitchen, trance-like, and starts opening cupboards. When he finds the biscuits he takes a bite, before he starts chewing he takes another, stuffing his mouth like a starving man.

The reaction of his body is immediate and he pukes the half-chewed biscuit back into the sink, coughing and spluttering.

“Kieren?” Simon calls faintly from the bedroom.

“Err, it’s nothing, go back to sleep.” He starts to reply, but he can already hear Simon’s bare feet making their way towards him.

He puts his hands on the edge of the sink, relishing in the cold of the metal as Simon comes up behind him and press his lips against Kieren’s ear, still half asleep, “No point in lying Kieren.”

“I- I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m shaking, and getting nosebleeds, and I just tried to eat a fucking biscuit!” His voice gets more shrill with each admission, “And I’m scared Simon, what if the medication isn’t working anymore? What if I go rabid?” Kieren turns and holds Simon tightly, “Please tell me it’s going to be okay.”

“Hey,” Simon pulls back to look Kieren directly in the eyes, “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

 

* * *

 

The rain hits the tall grass, making it bounce, disturbing the other raindrops and causing them to fall. Simon and Kieren march on towards the graveyard, each carrying a small bouquet of colourful flowers for Amy’s grave. They both miss her, everyone does. She was always such a force for good, and she made everyone she loved smile. Kieren puts his flowers down first, “I hope you’re doing okay Amy. We miss you.”

Simon smiles gently at Kieren’s kind words, and puts his own flowers down silently. Kieren takes Simon’s hand, silently thanking the powers that be for his love.

As they make their way back to the bungalow, Kieren suddenly notices that there’s something not quite right. “Simon, can you stop for a second?”

Simon pivots slowly to face him, “What’s the matter?”

“Give me your hand,” Simon holds his hand out obligingly and Kieren takes it, “it’s freezing…Why can I tell that your hands are freezing?”

A frown crosses Simon’s features, “Kieren, are you cold?”

There’s a moment of silence as Kieren evaluates himself, “You know what? Yes I am. I’m bloody freezing!” He erupts into almost manic laughter, “I’m cold! I can feel! My feet are wet! Simon, my feet are actually soaking right now!”

Simon smiles too, finding Kieren’s joy infectious, “C’mon, let’s get you inside.”

=

“Can you hear that?”

Simon’s head jerks up from his book, “Hm?”

“That noise, and feeling…I think…Simon, I think my heart might be, you know, beating.”

Simon practically leaps up from his chair and puts his hand on Kieren’s chest, under his shirt, and sure enough, there it is. It’s faint, and somewhat irregular, but there is no mistaking that for anything other than a heartbeat.

He slumps onto the floor in shock, “Oh god,” he whispers, barely audible.

“Simon, are you okay?” Kieren squats down in front of him, holding onto his shoulders.

“Wha’? Yeah, I’m- I’m fine… You’re just, you’re living again…” He trails off, not making eye contact.

“And?”

Simon’s white eyes snap up to his, full of fear, “And I’m not.”


End file.
